Friday, March 18, 2011
Colette at 3 months
A rather incoherent blog about motherhood:
Colette, my daughter, turned 3 months old on March 4th. Being a mother is amazing and exhausting. Yes, that is cliche…for a reason: it's true. I must tip my hat to all working parents out there, especially those that are also the primary caregiver to their little ones. I honestly do not know how you do it. I am without paid employment at the moment and am only now, after 3 months, feeling semi-human again. Colette is beautiful and expressive and a fairly terrible sleeper. Up until a couple of weeks ago she would not sleep by herself at all. But now…the swing! The swing has rescued me for a guilty 30 minutes up to 3 hrs each day. Don't get me wrong, I love holding my little girl. She's fabulous. But I also love to feel like just me every once in a while. Judge me however you want, but I am not one of those completely selfless mothers who wants to be holding their child 24/7. Then again, there is always a pang of guilt when I do put her down. That will dissipate a bit, I am sure, as she becomes more independent and capable of entertaining herself. In the meantime, I will cherish the short times when she is happy to be asleep in her swing all by herself. And I'll cherish the time spent holding her. Sooner or later (or sooner than I want, I am sure), she will no longer want to be held and cuddled. And that will be a hard day in a very different way.